father surprises,
devoid of principles–
Mamma in my room

Memories return,
an irretrievable time–
Mamma spent that night

unhappiness now
seen as involuntary–
my tears flow

I could weep with her
but our relationship changed–
sorrow’s puberty

premature gifts
of grandmother’s quelled the tears–
four short, wide books

nervous impulses
bring on faults atop my list–
the visit ends

gossip of Swann’s
age, wife, loves, and happiness–
a so-so ice

Coming upstairs,
I throw myself on her–
Mamma’s candle

Denied with silence,
scared by father’s imminence–
father’s candle

still moonlight–
seeming to be elsewhere,
precise muted strings