Denied with silence,
scared by father’s imminence–
father’s candle

Coming upstairs,
I throw myself on her–
Mamma’s candle

gossip of Swann’s
age, wife, loves, and happiness–
a so-so ice

nervous impulses
bring on faults atop my list–
the visit ends

still moonlight–
seeming to be elsewhere,
precise muted strings

sitting on the foot
of my bed waiting for her–
silence

but the messenger
might be the sole ally–
“There is no answer.”

I did not yet know
Swann would understand my pain–
love the messenger

finger bowls put round
note soon to be delivered–
Mamma not lost

lying to Françoise
to deliver my message–
the sealed envelope